Who am I?

Ok, tough one right off the bat... shout out to Bart for being my first... and you never forget your first ;)

I'm excited to say the answer is still evolving.

I spent my teen years trying to "invent" myself. I wanted to be a call-girl and I created this whole persona... and I was happy (aside from the typical teenage angst - you know, 10,000 Maniacs, dark room, self-medication, blah, blah, blah), but I wanted more. I could see that the end of that road would come quickly.

So, I went to college and became a different kind of "professional". I have built a nice career...still in the building phase, really... and walked the straight and narrow for well past a decade...but I wasn't happy. I was sinking and I didn't even realize it was happening. I gained weight; one by one I gave up my outside interests; stopped buying new clothes. My life had become no bigger than the boundaries of my cubicle.

One day I just snapped. I quit my job and just drifted for a couple months. In my opinion, everyone should do that at some point - what an eye opener!

I sent out scores of resumes and went to career fairs, but my next job actually found me. .. and I am in love with what I do. I spend 2/3rds of the year at my home in the US and 1/3rd in Eastern Europe.

The whole point of this preamble is to say that for the first time in my life, my job or role does not define me. I am beginning to define me. I really don't know myself. I struggled to fill out my profile. I am learning things about myself now. I never knew I was interested in and good at learning foreign languages. And that I, the girl who ditched math class, have a knack for accounting.

On a more fundamental level, I didn't know that I could still be attractive - in a different way... much different... than what I thought "being sexy" meant when I was young. I wasn't aware, until just over a year ago, how urgently important being attractive is to me. I mean that more in an Evita Peron way than a "Desperate Housewives" way.

So, who am I...? I'm trying to find out, and finally I am doing what it takes to really know. I am standing on my own two feet, insisting on respecting myself and others - and expecting the same in return.