Rebuttal...

Read this: my life...and probably every other girls haha

Very well written.

I was almost "every other" girl. When I was 13, the summer I turned 14, right before 9th grade, I met him. The last guy I ever pined for, the last time I gave the keys to my heart to someone else, the last time I let my guard down. It's not that I have never let anyone else in - I just never handed over the keys.

This guy was the most talented sax player. I had never played sax before but wanted to learn - not just learn but be in the marching band (our band was one of the absolute top in the state). Mr. Tolbert, the band director, told this guy that since he sat first chair and was captain of the saxophone section, I was his responsibility for the summer. If he could teach me to play, come fall I'd march with the band. I never wanted anything more than to make the band...until I heard this guy play, and then I never wanted anything more than him. I did the stuff Kelsey talked about: "worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch"; "time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint"; "spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines".

At the end of the summer, a new swanky mall opened and hired musicians to play. I knew that this guy had a sax quartet (2 altos, 1 tenor and 1 baritone) but I had never heard them. The were offered a time slot at the mall and he told everyone to come out and see them [total sidebar - almost no one came because the new mall was in the white, rich, Jewish section of town and our band was all black except one white girl on flute and a brother and sister who were Mexican]. So I went...

I was running late so when I got there, they were already set up to play. They were wearing their marching band uniforms which must have looked pretty comical to the shoppers. This was not a concert, just live background music, so people were just milling around - and then they started to play "Careless Whisper". People froze. People stepped out of stores to hear. No one was coming rushing over to see...they just stopped in their tracks along the promenades and balconies. I stared at him and the sound so completely filled me that I became unaware of my surroundings.

It ended...there was a moment of silence...and then thunderous applause. I was thinking that I just wanted to rush up on the stage and kiss him like were were alone on an island at sunset and...What the hell!!! Some other chick must have been thinking the same thing. She ran on the stage and he put his arm out to her - he put his arm out! - and they were kissing.

At the same moment, my heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing, and I thought I was going to throw up.

That night, there was a knock on my window - him! "Why did you run away?", "She means nothing to me", "I have wanted you all summer" And so I snuck out of my house and spent the whole night just talking to him in his car (he was a senior). We connected, we bonded, and I knew I would give myself to him and we would live the rest of our lives in each other's arms.

Since the day I started kindergarten I had never been more excited for the first day of school. I was leaving the geeky president of the computer club (really, I was) back in Jr. High and I was starting my first day of high school as the girlfriend of the captain of the saxophone section who was a senior - the ultimate trophy! Plus I had made the band. I couldn't wait for woodwind practice, 3rd period! Ok, in between first and second period I passed a gaggle of other band members who seemed to be looking at me and laughing - but that's just freshman paranoia...

Nope! Turned out that in the week between our "magical evening" and the start of school, he managed to tell just about everyone about this pathetic little freshman that he was forced to tutor over the summer who had this huge crush on him and who stupidly thought he would want to be my boyfriend. He told them some of the personal things I had shared with him that night. I was a total laughing stock.

So guess who knocked on my window that very same night... "I'm so sorry", "Please forgive me", "I was embarrassed to tell anyone I had fallen for you", blah, blah, blah... but this was the best line I think I have ever been fed: "I wish I could face my friends; I want to be strong for you, no, for us". A sinlge tear fell from the corner of his eye and I was kissing him before it reached his cheek.

This went on and on and on. I endured the laughing and the insults and eventually, he started hitting me and I took that too. The "relationship" came to a spectacular end when he slapped me in the hallway and my cousin's friend saw it. My cousin then burst into our math class with several of his football teammates and beat the crap out of him (this guy was bad enough at math that he and I were in the same class).

I transferred the next year, but I had learned my lesson. And now, practically 20 years later to the day, I would never let someone get the upper hand again.

My #1 dating law: No Pining!
If I see I guy that looks interesting, I talk to him immediately. If there seems to be any mutual interest, I ask him about meeting him for something - bite to eat, coffee, etc. If I offer and am rebuffed, I put the guy out of my head immediately and never look back - if he really is "busy", "going out of town" or any of that other crap, he will just have to find me. If you stick to this, you will always have enough guys in play that no one guy dominates your thoughts. Then, when you are ready, you can choose to be more serious.

Why do women insist on tears and martyrdom? Look at my picture...the best you could say is kinda pretty. I'm not a woman that is watched when I walk into a room, but I make damn sure I'm watched on the way out.

I'm not going to lie...I obsess about my weight and my clothes (esp, my lingerie) and my appearance, but that's maybe about 20-30% of the package. The rest is about capturing the imagination.

Yep, you guessed it, I don't have a lot of women friends.

I watched Brigdet Jones' Diary with a colleague who said the movie was her lifestory, meanwhile, I totally didn't get, even for a second, why a grown woman would act this way.

People think that people like me are totally different from them, but that's not true. I am making a conscious choice to grab the reigns and in a lot of ways, these "nice girls" consistently choose to sit in the passenger seat.

I really loved Kelsey's piece because in the middle she tosses out an insult:
"This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but [you] won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship"

Who could tire of the tearful "nice girl" shouting whore or slut? Not me I tell you.

It bothered me at first but I came to realize that the "nice girls" and I want two different things. "Nice girls" go out for a coffee with a guy and start fantasizing about their life together and the guy senses this and thinks about how to hold this girl at arms length. On the other hand, I'm fantasizing about our night together and how far I'm going to let things escalate and the guy is thinking about how he can get more. I know you are thinking guys are too dumb to pick up on this stuff, but you'd be surprised how quick they catch on to nuances conversation topics like:

"Nice Girl"
Your day at work
Your favorite teacher
Your favorite TV show
A problem you are concerned about
How much you love your cat(s)

Other girl
Sports/World events/something he'd care about
Favorite sexy jokes
Sex
Sex
How much he'd love my...um...cat, right

See the difference?...men do.

Ok, I'm being extreme, but I have had the displeasure of watching enough women in action that I now understand completely why men are obsessed with sex. If men didn't have overwhelming sex drives, the human race would have died out because men would never have put up with all the cutesy talk just to get to the sex.